Sunday Messages

God’s people have a “leaning toward trusting” its spiritual leaders, maintaining a willing disposition to be supportive in their attitudes and actions toward their directions.

Obedience is a difficult discipline to follow in our “do your own thing” culture. For example, conscientious parents recognize how difficult it is to exercise their God-given authority over their children. The delicate balance of being tough yet tender is not easy to maintain. Many parents intensify a rebellious spirit by being dictatorial and harsh. Others yield when their authority is tested. When a strong-willed child resists, the pressure to give in for the sake of peace and harmony can become overpowering. I am reminded of the mother who wanted to have the last word but couldn't handle the hassle that resulted whenever she said no to her young son. After an especially trying day, she finally flung up her hands and shouted, "All right, Billy, do whatever you want! Now let me see you disobey THAT!"

We may not always obey our parents in the home, but in the church, we say we obey the Word of God. Yet many of us would fail that test of obedience when Scripture commands:

Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you. (Hebrews 13:17).

Even the first apostles were denied and disobeyed by many who claimed to be Jesus-followers. However, if we study in Scripture both the authority of the apostles (church leaders) and the ill rejection of that authority, we may learn how to identify, respect, and obey our authentic spiritual leaders of today rather than joining with those who step out from under the authority of church leaders.

For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. (2 Timothy 4:3).

Leaning toward Trusting Church Leadership

The writer to the Hebrews basically gives instruction that defines being subject to church leadership in Hebrews 13:17…

Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you.

When a servant of God is in the will of God, teaching the Word of God, the people of God should submit and obey. The single word submit is rendered by the English phrase, “submit to their authority.” The root idea is not “give in,” but “disposed to yielding.” The instruction focuses on the attitude we are to maintain as we travel the Jesus road, led by others who have traveled on farther than us. What the first readers would have understood in this charge: “In relationship with those who are your spiritual leaders and guides to godliness, be sure you maintain a yielding disposition, and remain open to their persuasion.”

We can observe from this verse three points: the aim of leadership, the means of leadership and the response to leadership in the church.

The aim of leadership is the concern for the people

they keep watch over you… that would be of no benefit to you.

The aim of leadership is seen in two phrases: “that would be of no benefit to you””—which means that the aim of leadership is the concern for the people—that they would be benefited. The other phrase is, “they keep watch over you”—which means that the benefit that matters most to leaders in the church should be the benefit of the lives of the people. And we must argue that we exist to save lives, the very souls of the saints. Not just to get people converted to Christ, but to help them persevere to the end, because Hebrews 10:36 says, “You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.

When is comes to perseverance major league baseball player Cal Ripkin Jr. is the epitome of resilience. Cal played his entire career for the Baltimore Orioles from 1981 to 2001 at shortstop and third base. A 19-time MLB All-Star, Cal is widely considered one of the best shortstops to ever play the game. At 6' 4", Cal pioneered the way for the larger and taller shortstops. His father, Cal Sr., was a long-time coach in baseball who managed the Orioles in the late 1980s. Ripkin was best known as baseball's "Iron Man,” playing in a record 2,632 straight games, spanning sixteen seasons, from (May 30, 1982 - September 20, 1998). He played his 2131st consecutive game on September 6, 1995, against the California Angels, breaking the 56-year-old record set by the "Iron Horse" Lou Gehrig. Perseverance is the proof that Cal loved and centered his life around the game of baseball. Baseball to Cal wasn’t just a pastime; it was a calling to greatness.

In turn, perseverance is not icing on the cake of saving faith. It is the proof that our faith is real. Therefore every message concerns itself with salvation; every small group and class opens up opportunity for people to come to Christ, etc. Our endurance is our main concern, because our souls hang on it. That is the main aim of leadership—the concern of our lives, namely, their eternal salvation through persevering faith.

The means of leadership is the conservation of the people

they keep watch over you… that their work will be a joy… as those who must give an account.

The second point is the means of leadership in the church. How are leaders to lead so that saints persevere in faith and are saved? We see three things mentioned in the verse: watchfulness, joyfulness and seriousness.

Watchfulness of leaders is seen in the words: “they keep watch over you.” A literal translation is that leaders "keep watch on behalf of your souls or for the sake of your souls." And to do that for our souls, they watch four things, not just one thing: (1) they watch the Word of God; (2) they watch Christ; (3) they watch their conduct, and (4) they watch the people. Leaders are vigilant to be Biblical, Christ-centered, morally exemplary, and caring for the people. They are "watchful"—that’s the first means of leadership.

Joyfulness of leaders is seen in the words at the end of Hebrews 13:17: “that their [the leaders] work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you.” The profitableness of spiritual leadership for the people comes through the leaders' joy.

The implications of this are profound. It means that leaders who are indifferent to their joy in God are also indifferent to the benefit of their people. Do we see that? If we do our work begrudgingly and with complaining and groaning and sadness, "for that would be of no benefit to you." Our loving people depends on our delighting in the ministry.

That is not hard to see. If God is not the satisfying portion of those who give their whole lives to knowing his word and living it, why should anyone in the church believe this God is real? And if we do not believe God is real, our faith will fall and not persevere. So the joy of leadership is not optional. It is essential. Paul said in 2 Corinthians 1:24, "Not that we lord it over your faith, but we work with you for your joy."

The leaders of a leadership summit conference at a Baptist church gave conferees helium filled balloons. All participating leaders were told to release them at some point in the service when they felt like expressing the joy in their hearts for ministry. Since they were Baptists, they weren't free to say "Hallelujah, Praise the Lord." All through the service balloons ascended, but when it was over 1/3 of the balloons were unreleased. Leaders, we need to let our balloon go!

Joy is not something we can take for granted. It takes work to maintain joy in God. It is very much against our fallen nature that finds joy in all but God. We must be directed back to his all-satisfying greatness over and over. That is what we leaders must do for each other, and what we must do for our people. And it is so important that even the people are commanded to help us do our work with joy: “Do this so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you." Joy is a byproduct of an obedient people.

Seriousness of leaders is the third means of leadership. This seriousness is found in the verse 17 in the phrase, "as those who must give an account." There it stands in the middle of the verse: "They keep watch on behalf of your souls as those who must give an account." This means that when the leaders of Christ First stand before the judgment seat of Christ, God is going to say something like, "What did you do to preserve the faith and obedience of the members of Christ First? What did you teach? How did you live? What steps did you take in the case of the disobedient, the rebellious, the suffering, the grieving, the perplexed, the lonely, the aged, the teenagers, the children?" And we will have to give an account.

This is unbelievably serious business. So the joyfulness is not a flippant or trivial or shallow thing. It is immensely weighty. Not sad. Not burdensome (1 John 5:3). Not depressing. One of our answers at the judgment must be: We sought to maintain happiness in you and to lead the people into a joy that could not be destroyed by cancer or calamity, or criticism!

Watchfulness, joyfulness and seriousness—these are the means of leadership in the church.

The response to leadership is the confidence by the people

Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority.

Now we come to the third point in the verse, the response to leadership. First, we looked at the aim of leadership—the concern for the people, then the means of leadership—the conservation of the people, and finally the response to leadership—the confidence by the people.

The response God appoints is given in the beginning of the verse: “have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority.” This is not an easy subject to preach on concerning submission and authority. There are cultural reasons and Biblical reasons that make it difficult. Culturally, it was noted in the opening illustration of this message that obedience is a difficult discipline to follow in a “do your own thing” culture. The defining spirit in America today is self-determination, not submission to the will of another. The ultimate value in America is the unencumbered self. Anything that enhances our individual liberty to do as we please is good. And anything that encumbers us and limits our ability to do as we please is bad. Self is king. And autonomy is the highest law. That makes this text culturally outrageous: "have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority.”

Another part of our culture that makes this text difficult is that authority and power have been so often abused that there are legitimate misgivings about making obedience and submission the norm. There are books today on "spiritual abuse" and "churches that abuse." And what they have in mind is the abuse of power to manipulate and coerce and use people to enhance the leader's status and stroke the leader's ego and sometimes line the leader's pocket.

Now none of this nullifies Hebrews 13:17: "have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority.” But it does shape it and gives it a certain spirit and puts limits on it and shows both groups (leaders and people) a beautiful kind of dynamic that can exist when all is working as it should.

Many years ago while on vacation we were driving down a country road out of Eugene, Oregon; our SUV came to a very narrow bridge. In front of the bridge, a sign was posted: "YIELD." Seeing no oncoming cars, we continued across the bridge and to our destination. On our way back, we came to the same one-lane bridge, now from the other direction. To our surprise, we saw another YIELD sign posted. Curious, we thought, "We’re sure there was one posted on the other side." When we reached the other side of the bridge we looked back. Sure enough, yield signs had been placed at both ends of the bridge. Drivers from both directions were requested to give right of way. It was a reasonable and gracious way of preventing a head-on collision. When the Bible instructs the people of God to show confidence in their leaders and submit to their authority, it is simply a reasonable and gracious command to let authentic spiritual leaders have the right of way and avoid interpersonal head-on collisions.

Safeguards Around the Exercise of Leadership at Christ First—

One of the things God’s Word does is cause us to put safeguards around the exercise of leadership at Christ First. Let’s note some of them. Some are explicitly Biblical; others are matters of wisdom that have grown out of years of spiritual experience.

There is a plurality of leadership at Christ First, not just one person with authority. This is Biblical. All churches that we know of in the New Testament were led by a plurality of leaders, not just one elder, one bishop, or pastor (terms referring to the same person in the New Testament). Hebrews 13:17 does not say “have confidence in your leader” but have confidence in your leaders.” Christ First has 12 leaders on the Church Council, and when they speak one heart and voice, the church should be very slow to reject their direction.

All the leaders have equal authority. However, as a pastor I receive no vote as ex-officio on the Council.

The church approves the Council by congregational vote and can call them to account. The Council is not autonomous, but accountable to the congregation.

The council consists of lay leaders only. Some churches have a balance of vocational leaders (pastoral staff) with lay leaders in their governing leadership. It is just another check on the potential abuse of power by those of us who have a lot of influence by virtue of our pastor-teacher roles.

All Council leaders may serve only two consecutive three-year terms before having to take a year off the Council. This allows for a lot of valuable longevity for gifted leaders. But it also encourages healthy growth as newer men and women are called to spiritual leadership.

We are constitutionally regulated, and the constitution is ratified by the congregation. The leaders operate with a lot of leeway, but within the limits of a constitution that captures what we believe is Biblical church order.

We submit as a congregation—leaders and people—to a church covenant. This is what we agree will govern our way of life together. The leaders cannot decide to make something a matter of church discipline that would contradict the covenant we took when we joined the church. If the covenant is changed, it is changed by the vote of the congregation.

All of these are ways that we have tried to express our Biblical conviction that the authority of church leaders is not absolute or above limit or correction.

A “Leaning toward Trusting” Inventory—

A congregation needs to give loyalty and support to those whom they have elected to lead, and hold as sacred the Holy Spirit-guided decisions of those leaders. We can move no faster nor farther than our spiritual leaders have discerned the direction. This leaves us with an inventory regarding some questions about being an obedient follower:

Do we pray for the people who are responsible for leadership over us?

When is the last time we prayed for the spiritual leaders of our church, one by one, by name?

Do we communicate our support of the people who lead us in all areas of life?

Are we willing to contribute to the process of understanding a direction?

Are we willing to support a decision once it’s made and not murmur against it?

Are we willing to say nothing about a leader which we have not first said to him or her face to face?

Do we give our leaders the freedom to fail and the grace to begin again?

So what we must spin down in the understanding of obeying joyful leaders would be something like this: God’s Word teaches us that a church should have a “leaning toward trusting” its spiritual leaders; we should have a disposition to be supportive in our attitudes and actions toward their goals and directions; we should want to imitate their faith; and we should have a joyful inclination to comply with their instructions.

Now we can hear that these are all soft expressions: "a leaning toward trusting," "a disposition to support," "a wanting to imitate," "an inclination to comply." What those phrases are meant to do is capture both sides of the Biblical truth, namely, 1) that spiritual leaders are fallible and should not lord it over the flock, and 2) the flock should follow good leadership.

Where these two truths are working, it is a beautiful thing. We have tasted it and we should pray with all our hearts that God preserves it and deepens it among us for the good of the people and the glory of his name in the Covina Valley and around the world. Amen!

Spiritual leaders step into the pasture and smell like sheep. They call upon a style of leadership that is perilously protective, dangerous, dirty, and smelly.

I would like to begin this message by sharing a personal illustration that relates to shepherding since this is a message on spiritual leadership using the metaphor of a shepherd. When I was 6 years old my first grade Sunday School teacher decided to have our young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible; Psalm 23. She gave us a month to learn the verses. I was excited about the task. But, I just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, I could barely get past the first line. But my mother said, “Bobby, you can do it. Just relax and let God help you.” So I mustered up the courage to recite the Psalm in front of the congregation. On the day we were scheduled to recite Psalm 23, I was so nervous. When it was my turn, I stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my shepherd and that's all I need to know!"

Jesus-followers everywhere are crying out for spiritual leadership—men and women grounded in the Word of God, made wise by the experiences of life, and filled with the love and compassion of Christ. As our culture spins faster and faster, churches are caught up in the whirlwind of change, and people sometimes get lost in the shuffle…like sheep without a shepherd [see Matthew 9:35-37].

By the end of this message, it is hoped that church leaders feel rising waves of hope—hope for a new day for leaders who sense that nothing could be more significant and fulfilling than developing people, and that nothing could be more thrilling than leading God’s church effectively in the twenty-first century.

In the New Testament there are three words that refer to the calling of church leaders: (1) Elder (Presbuteros)—this indicates the dignity of the office, for a leader is one worthy of respect; (2) Bishop (Episkopos)—this has to do with the work of a leader as an overseer; and (3) Pastor (Poimenes)—this has to do with the shepherding responsibilities of the leader.

The biblical model of shepherd is the chief model of church leaders. In the likeness of Jesus, the Good Shepherd, shepherds know each sheep by name; they nurture the young, bandage the wounded, care for the weak, and protect them all. A shepherd smells like sheep. In the body of Christ, shepherding is not limited to a particular office. We all play the role of shepherd to someone at sometime. We play the role of shepherd as we parent our children in the faith or teach a church school class. We are shepherds when we disciple a fellow Jesus-follower. Older men and women shepherd as they mentor young men and women; we shepherd as we lead a small group or lead a friend to Christ. The biblical principles of shepherding are remarkably simple, yet powerfully impacting!

Being a Godly shepherd does not require special looks, brains, or talent; in fact, God is depending on ordinary people to step into his “doable” model of shepherding. And as we follow Jesus’ style of ministry, we will find that not only lives changed, but life’s relationships are greatly enriched. Spiritual leadership for the twenty-first century requires stepping into the pasture and smelling like sheep. It demands that church leaders willingly shepherd God’s people.

Caring for the people of God is best exemplified in the life and ministry of Jesus. We must note the following contrast:

Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep and can’t tell where to find them.

Leave them alone, and they’ll come home, wagging their tails behind them.

or

“Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and lose one of them.

Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go

after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it,

he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home.”

Luke 15:3-5.

Little Bo Peep has not only lost her sheep, she has really lost her sense of reality. Sheep don’t automatically come home, wagging their tails behind them. In reality, sheep wander and eventually will stray to the point of being lost, vulnerable, and out of touch with the shepherd. Also, Jesus doesn’t lose his sheep; he always knows where to find them. Jesus is the Good Shepherd (John 10).

The shepherd metaphor does sound strange in the cyber-world of our daily experience. We don’t normally see these picturesque, rural characters rolling down the freeways or eating at our local IN N’ OUT fast food restaurants. But, even after searching in vain for a contemporary metaphor— like coach , trainer, or mentor—that would better connect the biblical notion with our times, we finally have to explain, “We can’t find any figure equivalent to the shepherd idea in our modern, urban world. Besides, if we drop the shepherd and flock idea, we would have to tear about five hundred pages out of our Bibles, plus leave the modern church with a distorted—if not neutered—view of spiritual leadership. God keeps pointing shepherds to the pasture to struggle with sheep.”

The Shepherd’s Task

A shepherd is someone who has a flock! The shepherd and flock relationship entails a task. The spiritual leadership qualities of this task command availability, willingness, commitment and trust. This is how spiritual flocks are formed today in the church.

Peter addresses his remarks to the elders (presbuterous) and commands them to shepherd the flock of God in 1 Peter 5:1-4…

¹ To the elders among you, I appeal as a fellow elder and a witness of Christ’s sufferings who also will share in the glory to be revealed. ² Be shepherd of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; ³ not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. ⁴ And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.

We can observe three commands in this text, all of which are derived from the meaning of the verb “to shepherd.” Spiritual leaders smell like sheep when they step into the pasture and shepherd the flock of God according to these charges.

Good spiritual leaders are shepherds, not saviors.

¹ To the elders among you, I appeal as a fellow elder and a witness of Christ’s sufferings who also will share in the glory to be revealed. ² Be shepherd of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them…

Shepherds look after the flock of God. Peter was personally given this command three times directly from the Lord Jesus himself to feed or look after the sheep [see John 21:15-17]. From this experience there was no doubt in Peter’s mind that this is one of the prime responsibilities of a spiritual leader. It is incumbent upon him as a presenter and teacher to feed his flock upon the Word of God.

Spiritual leaders must have a thorough knowledge of the Word of God so they will not only feed the flock, but protect the flock from false teaching. God holds spiritual leaders accountable as shepherds for being informed about false doctrines which are so prevalent in our culture and warning their flock against them. Spiritual leaders, interested in looking after the flock, must cry out against false teachings, pointing out to their people that the Bible teaches not to be led astray by humanistic values and systems.

In Life on the Edge, Dr. James Dobson writes: “What are the characteristics of sheep that remind the Lord of you and me? What is he really saying when he refers to us in that way? Well, shepherds and ranchers tell us that these animals are virtually defenseless against predators, not very resourceful, inclined to follow one another into danger, and they are absolutely dependent on their human masters for safety. Thus, when David wrote, ‘We all, like sheep, have gone astray,’ he was referring to our tendency to move as an unthinking herd and away from the watchful care of the Shepherd.

I observed this herd instinct a few years ago in a documentary on television. It was filmed in a packing house when sheep were being slaughtered for the meat market. Huddled in pens outside were hundreds of nervous animals. They seemed to sense danger in their unfamiliar surroundings. Then a gate was opened that led up to a ramp and through a door to the right. In order to get the sheep to walk up that ramp, the handlers used what is known as a ‘Judas goat.’ This is a goat that has been trained to lead the sheep into the slaughterhouse. The goat did his job very efficiently.

He confidently walked to the bottom of the ramp and looked back. Then he took a few more steps and stopped again. The sheep looked at each other skittishly and then began moving toward the ramp. Eventually, they followed the confident goat to the top, where he went through a little gate to the left, but they were forced to turn to the right and went to their deaths. It was a dramatic illustration of unthinking, herd behavior and the deadly consequences it often brings.

Spiritual leaders are given the task to oversee, care and protect Jesus-followers from the “Judas goats”—those false teachers who desire to lead us astray, even to our death. So spiritual leaders are called to become “wounded healers” to care for and protect the people of God. They are not to be saviors, for only Jesus Christ—the suffering servant—is the Savior of our souls. Spiritual leaders are called to witness the sufferings of Jesus.

The word “witness” pictures one who is a spectator and eyewitness, one who testifies to what he or she has seen and is willing to suffer and die for that testimony. It comes from the same Greek word from which we get our English word “martyr.” Therefore, we identify with the sufferings of Jesus, but we are not called to take on a Messiah mentality!

Good spiritual leaders are guides, not gods

² …not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve.

Shepherds lead the flock of God.This command has to do with spiritual leaders as managers of God’s people. We notice that the command stipulates that the shepherd is to lead—not to drive the flock of God. It is most significant that the Bible calls Jesus-followers sheep and not cattle. The analogy is clear. Sheep are to be led; cattle are to be driven.

There are many distorted leadership models today. Spiritual leaders have to decide whether or not they will design their lives after the pattern of Jesus, or design their lives around the best thinking the world has to offer. The distorted leadership models all subscribe to chasing after a “herd” of sheep, throwing rocks at them and whacking them with sticks. These distorted models take on the form of the hired hands who abandon the sheep to save themselves; the cowboys who drive the sheep instead of leading them; the sheriffs who flash a badge and brandish a gun; the pop-managers who seek to control the sheep at the “speed of change”; and CEO’s who work behind closed doors, making decisions and announcing policy edicts.

God has provided a guide for spiritual leadership through his Word, and we must not allow our thinking to be shaped by traditional religious polity, prevailing management fads, nor by any other humanly conceived model. God has designed a model—embodied in Jesus Christ, and passed on to spiritual leaders of all time. The model is embedded in the very name “shepherd.” When today’s church leaders follow the shepherd style of nurturing and leadership, they reflect the very heart of God and imitate the ways of Jesus. People prefer to follow those who help them, not those who intimidate them. Good shepherds lead like Jesus led: recruit twelve, graduate eleven, and focus on three!

Good spiritual leaders are lovers not lords.

³ not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. ⁴ And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.

Shepherds love the flock of God.This command has to do with spiritual leaders as God’s under shepherds in the church. Spiritual leaders not only love God, good shepherds love the people of God. Scripture reveals that shepherds have a profound love for each of the sheep in their flock.

Again, the Parable of the Lost Sheep comes to mind from Luke 15. Motivated by love, the shepherd goes out in search of that lost lamb. When he finds him, he rejoices and summons his neighbors to a party. The shepherd does not speak angrily to the lost lamb, nor does he lord it over the lamb. A good shepherd will “lose sleep” over the flock.

The best shepherds are approachable. God’s church needs leaders who care enough to know and feel what is going on in the life of their flock, and who will listen, not with blank noncomprehending stares that seem oblivious to our feelings, but who lean in with attentiveness and tears—leaders who love.

I know firsthand. I have personally received loving, soul-nurturing shepherding—many times. One particularly upsetting day will stand out in my memory for a lifetime. A leader friend, whom I will call Joe, invited me to breakfast. The invitation came during one of the darkest and most discouraging seasons of my ministry thus far. Yes, I had made some blunders in ministry. But I was facing pressures with my physical health and ministry life. I felt overwhelmed with profound self-doubt about my ministry skills—as if I were totally “losing it.” In fact, I had even begun to question the validity of my thirty-five years of ministry. And to add wallop, these events transpired during the first few months before I turned sixty.

Joe listened intently to my distress. Then he brainstormed with me on a plan of action for “damage control.” We must make no mistake, Joe shot straight with me all the way. But before he let me leave, he prayed for me. I really needed a loving shepherd that day. That dear shepherd smelled like this sheep. His voice was clear and compelling, and I gladly put my life in his shepherd hands. Like all sheep, I need a shepherd who is a lover.

We love to rub up against those shepherds whose authentic love of people oozes through every pore. We feel comfortable taking our struggles to these kinds of leaders because they will not break our spirits, though we may have often broken their shepherd hearts!

This passage closes with the certainty that when the Chief Shepherd appears, shepherds who have been faithful in looking after, leading and loving the flock of God will receive the unfading crown of glory. The Bible doesn’t say what that crown is like. But we can be sure that if the Lord Jesus Christ has prepared it for his faithful shepherds, it is of infinite value.

So good spiritual leaders are shepherds not saviors; guides not gods; lovers not lords.

“Stepping into the Pasture” Inventory--

Peter appeals to the spiritual leaders as a fellow elder and witness of Christ’s sufferings. He demonstrates his love for the believers in concrete ways. Therefore, he can ask them to shepherd God’s flock. He can ask them to care for God’s people because he had their confidence and trust.

This leaves us with some penetrating questions. Spiritual leaders need to “step into the pasture and smell like sheep” by taking the following inventory:

Do we love the people we lead and do they know it?

What tangible evidence of our caring for them as persons has been vividly displayed, enacted and verbalized this past week?

Do they know that we desire their ultimate good?

Do they have ownership by sharing in the formulation of the direction we give them?

Have we enabled them to set realizable goals for themselves which we help them inventory consistently?

Do we stand with them in costly involvement?

Are we vulnerable enough to admit our own failures so that an atmosphere of grace is communicated?

A stroll into the morning. Robyn Davidson roamed for months with a tribe of pastoralists (shepherds) in northwest India. They are called the Rabari or “those outside the way.” She writes of her experience in National Geographic. “I would travel around the arid regions, until I found a group of Rabari with whom I felt a strong rapport. Then I would buy myself a camel or two, live with the Rabari in their village and leave with them on migration. The land where they wandered stretched flat to the horizon. Each shepherd had a slightly different call, variations on a theme. There were morning calls to move out, a call to bring the sheep to water, and so on. Each shepherd knew his own sheep and vice versa, and his particular flock would disentangle itself from the larger flock and move out behind him in the morning.”

How like our journey. Like those sheep, we are among strangers in a foreign and hostile land. We need shepherds. Without them, we perish. So the first question for aspiring spiritual leaders is not, “Am I a shepherd?” but “Am I a sheep?” In this strange and hostile land, do we walk our days under the loving care of the Good Shepherd, even Jesus Christ? And if we listen with the right ears, one voice rings out above all the rest. We are part of God’s flock and no other. So, as spiritual leaders, we step into the pasture and smell like sheep, disentangling ourselves from all the others and moving out behind Jesus in the morning. Amen!

Truth must be spoken in love. The real power of truth occurs when we speak the truth because it impacts the hearts of the hearers.

 

Two men who lived in a small village got into a terrible dispute that they could not resolve. So they decided to talk to the town sage. The first man went to the sage’s home and told his version of what happened. When he finished, the sage said, "You’re absolutely right." The next night, the second man called on the sage and told his side of the story. The sage responded, "You’re absolutely right." Afterward, the sage’s wife scolded her husband. "Those men told you two different stories and you told them they were absolutely right. That’s impossible—they can’t both be absolutely right." The sage turned to his wife and said, "You’re absolutely right."

Some people really like to avoid a conflict. I should know because I am one of them. People like to stay away from speaking the truth. But conflict is a fact of life. In fact, many people have made the point that conflict, even within the church is a sign of life—evidence of the fact that people really care. And avoiding confrontation is often a recipe for even greater conflict and pain. However, speaking the truth is a process for establishing peace and unity within the church.

The important question is: How do we manage conflict appropriately by speaking the truth in love within the fellowship of the church?  Let’s take a look at truth vs. lying and also check out some ways to communicate the truth in a way that manages conflict, honors God and shows respect for others.

"…speaking the truth in love”

Ah, speaking the truth in love! It's an easy thing to say but a tough thing to do. From time to time we hear people say things like, "I speak the truth and I don't care who knows it. I give it to 'em straight and if they can't handle the truth, well, that's just too bad." Perhaps we’ve heard people with a similar attitude. It seems that a lot of people have no problems speaking the truth but how many people can speak the truth in love? It is right to tell the truth, but it is possible to do the right thing in the wrong way.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5).

Many people don't have a problem with speaking the truth, but people often have difficulty speaking the truth in love. To illustrate this point, let’s take a minute to consider the Scripture above and think about this: When it comes to speaking the truth, do we do so in a way that is patient? Do we speak the truth in a way that is kind? Do we speak the truth in a way that is envious? Do we speak the truth in a way that is proud or boastful? When we speak the truth, do we do so with an attitude that is rude, self-seeking, and angry or with a remembrance of some wrong that was done to us?

If we're going to speak the truth, we need to do it in love. We need to do it in a way that is not impatient, unkind, envious, boastful, proud, rude, self-seeking, easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs.

Can it be that the average person spends one-fifth of his or her life talking? That's what the statistics say. If all of our words were put into print, the result would be this: a single day's words would fill a 50-page book, while in a year's time the average person's words would fill 132 books of 200 pages each! Among all those words there are bound to be some spoken in anger, carelessness, or haste.

The Apostle Paul presents the means of provision for spiritual growth to the believers in Ephesians 4:11-15:

 

¹¹ So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, ¹² to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up ¹³ until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. ¹⁴ Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. ¹⁵ Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the head, that is, Christ.

The early church in the absence of the complete word (New Testament) had miraculous gifts (vs.11). These gifts had a uniform goal, “to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up” (vs. 12). The word that was directly supplied in connection with these gifts was to stabilize the early Christians and guard them against error (vs. 14). There was anticipation regarding the coming of the "unity in the faith," which was the totality of God's revealed will. When the full word was delivered and made available, these miraculous influences would produce a maturity, attaining to the full measure of Christ (vs. 13). "Speaking the truth in love" is part of God's plan and provision for spiritual growth (vs. 15). We notice that "truth" is objective and "in love" is subjective. Truth, then, is tangible while the motive for speaking the truth, love, is not as apparent.

So let us now turn our attention to examining the matter of "speaking the truth in love."

We find it interesting on how truth is used that it is referring to the former unbeliever now speaking forth God's truth. The very one formerly ignorant of the truth is now passing it on to others, both non-Christian (evangelism) and Christian (edification).

Listening is where we use our ears and gain faith.

Speaking is where we use our mouths and spread our faith.

Once Jesus-followers believe, their lives are shaped by this truth. It has been integrated into their own beliefs. Jesus-followers transition from believing to verbalizing what they now know to be true.

This truth must be spoken in love. We realize that many speak truth in a way that makes it unattractive. This occurs when people are proud and show off their knowledge. The real power of truth occurs when we speak the truth because we care for another person. This allows the truth to impact the hearts of the hearers.

What Speaking the Truth in Love is Not

There is a great amount of confusion in the church today as to what constitutes speaking the truth in love. In fact, there are so many misunderstandings that in some situations it is impossible to speak the truth in love.

Speaking the truth in love is not holding back parts of the truth.

²⁷ For I have not hesitated to proclaim to you the whole will of God (Acts 20:27).Paul even appreciated the truth to the point of allowing it to make those whom he loved his enemies. ^“Have I now become your enemy by telling you the truth?” (Galatians 4: 16). Notwithstanding, some people feel that their pastors do not have to teach on all matters pertaining to the whole will of God. In fact, if they really love their people, they will spare them the truth on especially painful subjects.

For example, "If you have love, you will not teach on divorce and remarriage because many people in the church have both been married to others! Therefore, that part of the truth must be withheld and so the teaching of ‘speaking the truth in love’ on this matter would be used out of context.” This reasoning is doesn’t follow the whole will of God.

Speaking the truth in love is not watering down the truth.

¹ Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. ² Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation (1 Peter 2:1, 2).

Peter warned the believers not to dilute and weaken the truth, but to desire the pure nourishment of the Word of God. Some people want their pastors to tone down their preaching so they don’t rock the boat.

Paul who penned, "…speaking the truth in love" also wrote, “Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction” (2 Timothy 4:2).In his book The Different Drum, Scott Peck presents an interesting theory about relationships. He says God designed us to yearn for open, honest, authentic relationships—he calls them "Communal Relationships." But because we choose peace-keeping over truth telling, we end up in "Pseudo-communal" relationships instead. The result is marriages, families and friendships that are strictly surface level. No one ever says anything "unsafe." They never discuss misunderstandings or reveal their hurt feelings or air their frustrations or ask those difficult questions. The underlying commitment is "Don't rock the boat. Don't disturb the peace."And we get peace all right. But it's a counterfeit peace! Misunderstandings arise, but they're never resolved. Feelings beg to be shared, but they're not. Offenses occur, but nobody talks about them. Doubts about the other's integrity creep in, but they're never dealt with. In time such relationships are destined to deteriorate. The secret agendas of hurt and misunderstanding lead to detachment, distrust and finally deep bitterness. Feelings of love begin to die. It's the story of too many family relationships, friendships and even churches.Speaking the truth in love is not being obscure. ³⁸ Peter replied, "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. (Acts 2:38).

Peter as a Spirit led preacher spoke the truth in love with clarity and precision. Some preachers are skilled in talking in circles. After patiently listening to them, it is difficult for the hearer to understand the message due to their obscurity in the presentation of the truth. It really cannot be decisively understood. Let’s note the following illustration:

To please his father a freshman went out for track. He had no athletic ability, though the father had been a good miler in his day. His first race was a two-man race in which he ran against the school miler. He was badly beaten. Not wanting to disappoint his father, the boy wrote home as follows: "You will be happy to know that I ran against Bill Williams, the best miler in school. He came in next to last, while I came in second."

What Speaking the Truth in Love Is.

The way to determine what speaking the truth in love constitutes is by considering approved examples.

Speaking the truth in love clearly exemplifies courage. ¹³ When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus. (Acts 4:13).

One descriptive word used by the Holy Spirit to describe the preaching of the apostles is the Greek parresia, which is often translated "courage” or “boldness”. To the same people to whom Paul wrote "…speaking the truth in love," he later wrote in soliciting their prayers,

Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel” (Ephesians 6:19).

Speaking the truth in love necessitates the use of both the positive and negative.

¹¹Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil but what is good. Anyone who does what is good is from God. Anyone who does what is evil has not seen God (3 John 11).

The New Testament is complete with what to do (positive) and what not to do (negative). The word encourages good (positive) and exposes and condemns evil (negative). People today in their education have often come to believe that preaching must be positive. The Positive Movement even in some churches of Christ has precluded New Testament preaching and actually speaking the truth in love.

Speaking the truth in love entails the presentation of all that God has said.

³² “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32).

What some do not realize who hold views that circumvent and prevent speaking the truth in love is that the truth sets people free and saves. Therefore, if we truly love others, we will deliver the "whole counsel of God". Also, the Word is designed to often be disciplinary in order that correction and repentance will follow.

What to expect when there exists speaking the truth in love.

Spiritual growth should be expected and realized. Jesus-followers should increase in spirituality and vitality and the lost should come to a knowledge of the truth. The church is God's arrangement to effect spiritual growth and spiritual increase. It is predicated on the presentation and reception of the truth.

Some adverse reactions should be expected and realized. Jesus' speaking the truth in love caused some of his disciples to walk no more with him. It even resulted in division among his Jewish brethren (John 6:66; 7:43). Speaking the truth in love resulted in Stephen being murdered by a mad mob (Acts 7).

Max Lucado in his book, Just Like Jesus, gives the following illustration of a fellow in which some of us may be able to sympathize. This fellow received a call from his wife just as she was about to fly home from Europe. "How’s my cat?" she asked. "Dead." "Oh, honey, don’t be so honest. Why didn’t you break the news to me slowly? You’ve ruined my trip." "What do you mean?" "You could have told me he was on the roof. And when I called you from Paris, you could have told me he was acting sluggish. Then when I called from London, you could have said he was sick, and when I called you from New York, you could have said he was at the vet. Then, when I arrived home, you could have said he was dead." The husband had never been exposed to such protocol but was willing to learn. "OK," he said. "I’ll do better next time." "By the way," she asked, "how’s Mom?" There was a long silence, and then he replied, "Uh, she’s on the roof."

Speaking the truth in love necessitates a transformation that needs to take place in our lives. If we are to grow up in Christ as God intends, then we need to be transformed into honest people who consistently speak forth the truth in love.So let's get practical. How do we speak the truth in love? Well, let's set up a hypothetical situation to help answer this question. Let's say that a friend shows you a piece of clothing that they might want to buy and asks for your opinion. You take one look at the clothing that your friend is considering and say to yourself, "That is the ugliest piece of clothing that anyone has ever put on their body!" Now here's the question: do you come right out and say that to your friend? Well, that would certainly be speaking the truth but saying such a rude, unkind thing wouldn't be speaking the truth in love. So what do you do? Well, you look for a way to communicate the truth in a manner that considers the other person's feelings. This does not mean that you lie to others. What it does mean is that you tell the truth in a way that builds other people up and doesn't tear them down. You might say one of the following things... I think I liked the blue one better It fits you well but I don't think the colors are right for you The other one really compliments your style It's not my personal favorite—maybe you should try a few others before you make a decision

Do we get the idea? Speaking the truth in love means communicating the truth in a way that edifies people and encourages them instead of speaking without respect for other people and the way they feel.

“Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body” (Ephesians 4:25).

Of course, telling the truth in a way that builds people up isn't always an easy thing to do. We should recognize that encouraging people while still telling them the truth often requires some effort on our part.

In order to speak the truth in love we can't always say the first thing that comes to mind. We often have to think about what we're going to say before we say it. This is why people sometimes don't even bother and simply just lie rather than make the effort to speak the truth in love. After all, lying is so totally ingrained in society that people have almost come to expect it anyway. And of course, lying is often just a whole lot easier than telling the truth—at least in the beginning.

People will often rationalize lying by saying that they lied about something small and unimportant. Of course, the problem with this is that if we lie about the small things, how do people know that we won't lie about the big things too?

The simple fact is that telling a lie (even a small one) still makes the person who told the lie a liar. A lie is still a lie even if it did have to do with something small. Besides that, small lies don't always stay small. Small lies have a tendency to quickly get out of hand and many people who have been caught in a lie can tell you that small lies can turn into big lies really fast.

Another problem is that lying eventually causes others to become suspicious and distrustful of the person who is lying. Wherever suspicion and distrust exists, it's almost impossible to have close, god-honoring friendships and relationships with people.

Aesop, the ancient storyteller, told this fable: Once upon a time, a donkey found a lion's skin. He tried it on, strutted around, and frightened many animals. Soon a fox came along, and the donkey tried to scare him, too. But the fox, hearing the donkey's voice, said, "If you want to terrify me, you'll have to disguise your bray." Aesop's moral: Clothes may disguise a fool, but his words will give him away.

If we develop a reputation for telling the truth in love then people will begin to respect us. In a world where straight answers are hard to come by, people will give us respect if we speak the truth in love, especially because lying is so widespread.

In closing, there is a saving rebuke concerning the speaking the truth in love which comes out of the life of Christian writer and speaker, Gordon MacDonald. He writes:

One time, 20 or so years ago, I was in Japan on a speaking tour with a close personal friend. He was a number of years older than I was. As we walked down the street in Yokohama, Japan, the name of a common friend came up, and I said something unkind about that person. It was true; however, it was not spoken in love. It was sarcastic. It was cynical. It was a put-down. My older friend stopped, turned, and faced me until his face was right in front of mine. With deep, slow words he said, “Gordon, a man who says he loves God would not say a thing like that about a friend.” He could have put a knife into my ribs, and the pain would not have been any less. But you know something? There have been ten thousand times in the last 20 years that I have been saved from making a jerk of myself. When I’ve been tempted to say something unkind about a brother or sister, I hear my friend’s voice say, “Gordon, a man who says he loves God would not say a thing like that about a friend.”

This is a saving rebuke for all of us in the body of Christ. The next time we are tempted to say anything concerning a friend, situation, or aspect of our ministry together at Christ First, let’s hear again a saving rebuke of speaking the truth in love: “A person who says he or she loves God would not say a thing like that about a friend.”

Let’s “tell it like it is,” but let’s do it by speaking the truth in love. We will in all things grow up into him who is the head, that is, Christ. Amen!