Sunday Messages

Shift: When words become a fire, the Spirit convicts Jesus-followers to have the courage to open their mouths and build others up with their words.

The little things do matter…

Shifts not only have a big impact in the crust of the earth, but also in every area of our lives.By making these small adjustments in the right places, we can set off a chain reaction – much like the earth’s seismic forces that result in an earthquake – but in this case small changes can make a BIG difference in the most important areas of our lives. 16:Shifts can take place almost anywhere: in the workplace, the school, the family, the church, the community, and in our spiritual and personal lives. In our last message, God disclosed to us the importance of Shift #10: The Shift from Anxiety to Peace.

“May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.” –Psalm 19:14.

SHIFT #11: From Burning to Building

We who have lived in Southern California in the fall, we know we don’t get much change in our weather. No, instead we’re stuck with the same boring eighty-degrees day in, day out. But fall in Southern California does have one major drawback. Fall is fire season. It happens every September, October, and November. The gentle winds shift from the standard off-shore afternoon breezes to the warm, whipped up Santa Ana desert winds. And every time they do, a high alert goes out for wildfires. We have watched these infamous, fall fires on the evening news. For some, we know of family or friends who have literally been evacuated from their homes. In recent fires near Malibu, the flames literally jumped eight full-size lanes of a massive freeway in an instant. The fire left a charred and flattened path twenty miles through Malibu Canyon and down to the beach. It is a frightening experience. Each year, hundreds of thousands of acres are burned, homes are lost, and lives are threatened by fires that often get started with a simple “spark.” [video clip on start a fire].

There is another force to be reckoned with when it comes to our speech. One of the most startling passages in the Bible was written by Jesus’ younger brother, James. Describing the power of our words, he writes in James 3:5-6…

⁵ … the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. ⁶ The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of one's life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

James seems to be going to extremes. He thinks the tongue is like a fire, that a whole world of evil lives in this tiny pink organ, that it can corrupt us through and through, that it ignites the very fabric of our lives with flames that must be quenched, and that all of this fiery mess has been ignited by hell itself.

Is the tongue really as dangerous as James thinks? Do our words have the potential for the kind of destruction he seems to be worried about? Well, we as Jesus-followers need to respond to these questions with consciences open and hearts softened by the prompting of the Holy Spirit. When considering our words, we need to make the shift from burning to building.

Words that burn cause emotional battle scars. We don’t have to walk long on this earth before we discover that some of our deepest wounds are the result of careless or hurtful words. It is also true; words that build produce lasting relationships. When people speak words of love, affirmation, and blessing, we experience some of the most precious memories in this life.

So it is no surprise that God gives us all kinds of warnings about how we use our words. God inspired Solomon to speak on this topic from the book of Proverbs.

Proverbs 18:20-21 ²⁰ From the fruit of their mouths people's stomachs are filled; with the harvest of their lips they are satisfied. ²¹ The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Solomon understood that words have the potential to burn or to build. They have the power of life or death. We all know how refreshing it is to hear words of life, hope, and encouragement. They can help our performance and brighten our attitudes. The right word at the right time can bring us renewed vigor for a task and can challenge us to improve. Young or old, people blossom under the influence of encouraging words. Too often we do not hear encouraging words. Too often, yet we do not speak words that build, only burn.

The truth of the matter is that if we are not careful, our words tend toward the negative. If we push the default button, we tend to use words in ways that destroy relationships and fracture community. God has something very different in mind. God longs to see us build healthy and lasting relationships. But to accomplish this, we must learn to control our speech.

Can we imagine what it would be like to have a full-time grumbler following us around for a day? Perhaps some of us can say, “For a day? I’ve got one that follows me around everyday!” Well, we would soon discover that our house is too small, our job is no fun, we have bad taste in restaurants, and our clothes don’t match…that is, if we survived the day without going crazy. Grumblers can scorch the life out of just about any circumstance. At work, a grumbler can change a dream job into one of drudgery. At home, a grumbler can turn a place of rest into a place of stress. At church, a grumbler can twist a ministry that thrives into a ministry that only survives.

The apostle Paul wrote in Jude 16…

¹⁶ These people are grumblers and faultfinders; they follow their own evil desires; they boast about themselves and flatter others for their own advantage.

There is a danger in grumbling. The forty-years Israel spent wandering in the desert was a time they would have preferred to forget. When Paul brought up this topic, it would have been as comfortable as asking someone to talk about their root canal surgery during the second course of a dinner party. Some things are better left unsaid. However, Paul brings up this awkward topic and lists four sins the people of Israel committed while they wandered in the wilderness during those agonizing years.

Let’s note these sins in 1 Corinthians 10:6-10…

⁶ Now these things occurred as examples to keep us from setting our hearts on evil things as they did. ⁷ Do not be idolaters, as some of them were; as it is written: "The people sat down to eat and drink and got up to indulge in revelry." ⁸ We should not commit sexual immorality, as some of them did—and in one day twenty-three thousand of them died. ⁹ We should not test Christ, as some of them did—and were killed by snakes. ¹⁰ And do not grumble, as some of them did—and were killed by the destroying angel.

Here are the four sins:

Idolatry... Sexual immorality…Testing the Lord…Grumbling

Now, Jesus-followers take a strong stand on idolatry, sexual immorality, and testing the Lord. The question then becomes, why do we practically ignore the fourth sin Paul addresses in this passage? We simply ignore this one as seriously as the other three. Paul is basically communicating God’s heart on this topic. This sin of grumbling not only plagued the people of Israel all through their history, it was damaging the church in Paul’s day, and it still runs rampant in the lives of too many Jesus-followers and churches today.

Therefore, we need to constantly draw near to God and ask him for the right words to speak, words that will satisfy the soul of every listener. Words that encourage and not discourage those who hear us speak. That God might help our tongues to nourish life and not to torch others. And perhaps most important of all, help us to encourage others to be encouragers.

So how do we make the shift from burning to building?

Words That Matter

Grumbling burns, consumes, and destroys relationships; speaking words of blessing can heal, strengthen, and rebuild them. If we desire to experience dynamic and lasting relationships, we can begin by committing to use our words as a source of blessing and encouragement. We need to declare our lives Zero Tolerance Zones. We must not tolerate the poison that grumbling brings into our relationships. God wants us to celebrate the good we see in others. We can speak uplifting words face to face, and we can even become ambassadors of “good gossip.”

Paul writes to the believers in Ephesians 4:29-32…

²⁹ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ³⁰ And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ³¹ Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. ³² Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

When we develop the habit of affirming others, a shift from burning to building occurs. In a modern culture where the tongue is often used to burn, we create a culture of blessing. Paul prohibits burning and permits building in his wise counsel:

1. Paul disallows all “trash talk”

²⁹ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths…

Burning permits are not granted. It’s too dangerous to take the chance. Also, he urges us not to grieve the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the guide of life. When we act contrary to the counsel of our parents when we are young, we hurt them. In a similar way, to act contrary to the guidance of the Holy Spirit is to grieve the Spirit and hurt the heart of God who, through the Spirit, sent his word to us.

So burning permits are not granted by God. The conditions are too dangerous to take the chance. Why? Here are ten modern-day examples from culture…

· There are a lot of ugly people out there, too bad your one of them

· I hear you are connected to the Police Department -- by a pair of handcuffs

· Save your breath, you are going to need it to blow up your date tonight

· Try not to let your mind wander - it's too small to be left out alone on its own

· I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside

· Don't you need a permit to carry that much stupid around?

· Your family tree is nothing but a rest stop for dogs

· You're so stupid that if brains were taxed you would get a rebate

· Your teeth are so yellow when you walk into church the choir sings “let it shine, let it shine, let it shine”

· Your breath is so hot when you sneeze you start forest fires

2. Paul allows “building permits”

²⁹ … but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Paul goes on to put the same thing positively. He wants us as Jesus-followers to take out “building permits.” The Jesus-follower should be characterized by words which help, not hinder. Building permits are granted.

Here are ten affirmations that bless…

· You are God’s special gift in my life

· Your smile brightens my day

· Your friendship means the world to me

· Is there something I can do for you today?

· Be strong because God is on your side

· Your words keep me on my feet

· I thank God for you

· I need some guidance; can you help me?

· God is doing a good work in you

· I love you

So Paul comes to the summing up of his advice. He tells us to be kind. The Greeks defined this quality as the disposition of mind which thinks as much of its neighbor’s affairs as it does of its own.Kindness has learned the secret of looking outwards all the time, and not inwards. Paul tells us to forgive others as God forgives us. So, in one sentence, Paul lays down a rule for personal relationships—that we should treat others as Jesus Christ has treated us. Forgiveness is the standard Jesus modeled for how we treat one another. And this treatment of others surely includes the words we speak!

Moving from burning to building is one of the great disciplines that allow God to speak to our heart through his Word. Our series on 16:Shifts highlights the verse from John 3:16…

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

…God loves…God gave…We believe…We live.

Prayer: Father, I believe you love this world. You gave your one and only Son so I can live forever with you. Apart from you, I die. With you, I live. I choose life. I admit I need a Savior. I believe Jesus is my Savior. I choose to walk with Jesus and become a worldchanger.

Triple-Filter Test

Let’s bring a summation to our message. When we think about what we say and how we say it, there is a very simple test for guiding our speech. There are three things we can ask ourselves before we speak:

• Is it kind?

• Is it true?
• Is it helpful?

We have affirmed in this message the fact that speaking mindfully is not a simple task. We are used to blurting out and presenting our opinions, grumblings and thoughts, sometimes to the detriment of others and ourselves.

Is it kind, is it true, and is it helpful? I didn’t make those questions up. We might be familiar with them already—they were first used in a poem in 1835, and the Rotarian 4-Way test is similar. Some people use the word “useful” or “necessary” instead of “helpful.” I think these three simple tests of our speech bring together the meaning and purpose of many of the laws in the Bible about right speech.

Maybe the questions of “kind, true, helpful” were in the mind of Paul when he gave his advice concerning our speech to the believers at Ephesus.

Ephesians 4:25

Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.”

Gossip can be very malicious—telling lies, or secrets about someone to anyone who will listen. But it is also interesting to note the fact that the word gossip was not always a negative word.

The word gossip came from the early English word “God-sibb.” A god-sibling, like a god-parent, was a member of a religious community, someone who shared faith. We were truly kindred in God. Therefore, the original meaning of gossip literally was speech within the church.

So if it seems like a lot of gossiping happens in church…we are right! Gossip can be good. Gossip is the way a community tells its story. Gossip can be the way that people get the help they can’t ask for, the forgiveness they didn’t know they needed, and the affection that comes with being loved with all our faults. Thus, not all “gossip” is bad. Some of it is just sharing stories and connections so that we humans can better care for each other, and better understand the world we live in. The difference between good gossip and bad gossip comes when we ask ourselves…

Is it kind?

Is it true?

Is it helpful?

If we really take this “triple-filter test” into our lives; really think before we speak (or type) and ask ourselves if what we are about to say—is kind, is true, is helpful—there would be a lot less talking in the world. It would be a calmer, quieter, kinder place.

I have attempted personally to take this “triple-filter test” into my life in the past two weeks, but it's hard. I'm not used to thinking before I speak. I have to wonder if incorporating kindness, truth and helpfulness into my communications is really such a great idea. However, small talk, discussion of the weather, asking people how they are doing even though you may not care or listen or know who they are, is a very important part of human interaction. And let's face it; refraining from speaking the truth is sometimes the only way to be kind. Kind, true and helpful, for me is like anything I enjoy: ice cream or chocolate, fine in moderation, but we have to know when to stop. We can have too much of a good thing.

So let’s make the shift from burning to building. We are members of one another, kindred with all we meet. May we forgive ourselves and each other; we begin again in love.

May the words of all our mouths be a benediction and a blessing to those we encounter daily. May what we say be kind, true, and helpful! Amen.